The joys and fears of launching my own business

It has been one year now that I launched my own business. When I started, my mission was very clear. I knew I wanted to help leaders and organizations adapt peacefully to our digital times or better said to our fast-changing world.

A lot of organizations and people are currently struggling because they are still using techniques of a slower time, ill-fitted for our fast pace of change. Increased stress, burn-out, decreased impact, bore out or a lack of meaning can all be signs of this. And for an organization, it can lead to bad financial results or even extinction. I had proven that by running an organization with more meaning, new techniques and happy employees, the results could be great. I want to share this through my new company Qili.be.

What did I enjoy about this first year?

A year ago, I had no idea how I would translate my mission into a clear offer. Would I become a consultant, a coach, an administrator, a teacher, a motivational speaker, a writer or an online course developer? I decided to try it all to see what I would prefer.

I did some consulting in large and small organizations, I coached management teams in new techniques, I have two mandates in boards of directors, I teach digital leadership as a guest lecturer at Vlerick business School, I gave conferences, I am writing a book and I develop my first online course with Solvay Business School. The problem is: I like it all ;-)

But what I also really enjoyed this year was the freedom of working anytime and anywhere. From home, from my coworking space at Silversquare, in organizations or in my little village house in Spain.

Instead of thinking traditionally about my offer, I turned it upside down. I thought about the ideal life I wanted to live, calculated how much I needed to earn to live that life and what was necessary to realize those revenues.

How will I make a living?

Today I know how I would like to make a living; ideally 80% of my revenues should be generated online and with my book (that allows me to maintain a great deal of freedom) and 20% with the other activities I like.

Developing a course and writing a book take a lot of my time, much more than I had anticipated. If I want to reach my objective, my focus needs to be there but it means that I will only have revenues once it is launched. And if I want to make revenues now, I have to accept more consulting. Then I can rapidly find myself absorbed by different consulting jobs that bring money but keep me from my bigger goal. Rationally, it is clear that my focus lies in building my online course and writing my book, even if it means making less money on the short term. But that is a rational objective. Unfortunately, I have days when the fear kicks in.

What are my fears and when do they arise?

Some days I feel great and some days I feel bad and the fear rises. Often, there isn’t a real reason behind the feeling. It is just a matter of energy; when my energy level is good, I feel very confident but when it is low and I get a comment coming from someone, bang my fear is there accompanied by doubts: “Will I make enough money?”, “Will I be successful?”, “Why would people follow me?”, “My videos are boring, maybe I should do something else”, …

The comments that can get me off balance are things like:

• Ah you too, you want to be a coach or a consultant, everyone wants that these days. Isn’t the market saturated?
• You are hiring already and you are not even break-even yet? I would have waited a bit.
• An online course? Are you sure managers like to learn online? I know I wouldn’t.
• A book? Nice. You will never sell many but it is great for your marketing.
• Don’t you want to be a CEO again? I also started my own business for a year or two but then I noticed this wasn’t for me. You are sure you want to continue your own business?

I also noticed a big difference at networking events. When my badge used to mention CEO, people were more interested in me than today when it says founder of Qili.be. Sometimes, my ego gets hurt and I feel the need to say: Yeah but I used to be a CEO.

How do I manage my fears, my ego and my energy?

On those bad days, I try now to accept the negative thoughts without listening or believing them. I just think: “OK I am having a bad day but I know that tomorrow (or next week) I will feel better and have my confidence back.” Instead of listening to my negative thoughts and act out of fear, I would keep my focus and work on increasing my energy level by doing something nice.

I have also built a safety net for myself. Of course, I have some financial reserves but that isn’t sufficient to manage all my fears. Many of our fears are irrational. My safety net consists of 3 elements (that are the basic needs of our ego):

• Survival needs: I try to sleep enough, exercise regularly and eat healthy. This sounds cliché but my fears and negative thoughts often appear when I don’t feel great physically. I also try to have at least 6 months of savings. That helps me to maintain my focus and to say no to things that are not in line with my values or goals.
• Relationship needs: I maintain a network of friends, colleagues and family and I have a very active social life. I like working in my coworking office because of all the great people I meet that share big dreams and great values. I like helping others and I can count on many persons to help me when I need it. I also love to meet new people.
• Recognition needs: I had to especially work on recognition. I succeeded in my career because of this need. I often had this little voice in my head (when I made a mistake or thought I wouldn’t reach a goal) that said: “I am not good enough”. Out of that negative thought, I would get the energy to learn something new or to work harder and to become better. But that was sometimes at a high cost for my health. I learned to give myself the recognition I need or to get it when I feel the need arise. For instance, I learned to say thank you when someone gives me a compliment instead of minimizing my involvement.

So, am I successful after one year?

On a good day, I would think that yes because I have already accomplished a lot of things but on a bad day, I would answer no because I am not break-even yet. For the rational minds who like to measure things, I have reached the objectives that I set for myself on year one.

Do I regret quitting my job as a CEO?

Although I miss some things from my old life (my colleagues, my mission of improving education, the nice hotels when I travelled, my high salary package, …) until today I have never regretted my choice. I love the freedom, the new challenges, the people I meet, creating something new and working completely in line with my values.

This was my update after one year in the job. How do you manage your up’s and down’s? And how is your safety net for managing your fears?