Leaving my job as a CEO to start my own business

I always knew that one day I would launch my own business. I had so many ideas. But it was never the right time. I was still in college when I was offered my first job at Procter & Gamble, and I thought, this is a great learning experience. Then I had two wonderful kids. I changed jobs several times and ended up at Plantyn, an educational publishing company where I had a great work–life balance. I loved that company, and I was promoted to CEO after several years.

I learned so many things about business, about people, about transformation, about private equity, about coaching—but most of all, about myself. It was the most challenging job I have ever had because we had to turn around the revenues, transform the company from paper to digital, go through acquisition and sales processes, and reinvent the way we organized ourselves and did business. But I loved it, and I loved the values of the company. And at the same time, I was struggling with the high pressure coming from my private equity shareholders. Of course, I made quite a bit of money. And I could have made a lot more money if I had stayed, but I wanted to fully live according to my values. 

I had been a CEO for five years, and launching my own business was in the back of my head all the time, like background music. When would be the right time to launch my business? I was convinced there would be a sign. What would be the sign? Would I see it? Could I maybe try to launch my business alongside my job? I tried, but it was too hard. What could I launch? Would I become successful? Why would I leave this job? I loved so many things about it, plus it was financially safe. Would I regret quitting my job? I had a good life—why change it? These were all the stories that came with my background music, until finally I knew the time was ripe. I got several signs practically at once! It felt like somebody was shouting, “Now is the time!!!”

How did I make my decision?

First, I made a list of what gave me energy and what took energy in my current work. Then I looked at launching my new business: What would continue to give me energy? What might take energy? How could I mitigate the “energy eating” activities? I talked to my sister, who encouraged me. Then I drafted a one-pager with my mission, customer target, value proposition, and competitive advantage. I made an appointment with three good friends (and business people) and asked if they thought I could be successful, what I needed to be careful about, how they could help me, what advice they could give me … I also talked to two people who had just launched their business to learn about their ups and downs. All these things took one week, and that was enough to make up my mind (or to confirm my gut feeling). I made an appointment with my boss to tell him about my resignation and told all my friends and family.

I was sad at first, was it a mistake?

It was a very rational decision, and I was sure. I was very enthusiastic about my new life. I couldn’t tell my colleagues yet, so I had to continue working as I did before, sometimes with great days. That’s when the sadness and the doubts kicked in. Had I made the wrong decision?

My boss didn’t want me to leave. Was he right? And I cried. I cried a lot, like somebody had died. Were those tears a sign that I had made the wrong decision?

No, they were tears of mourning. I was going to leave a company that I had partially built with my heart and soul for 12 years. It was like leaving a family that I loved and that loved me. And of course, the fear was there as well. Would I be successful? There were already so many similar companies in the market. Then the enthusiasm kicked in with lots of ideas and lots of energy, putting me back on track. Every time I overcame the sadness or fear, it gave me more assurance that I was on the right track. But taking a big step like this is always a process with ups and downs.

I believe that getting out of your comfort zone to do something beautiful is like changing from a caterpillar to become a butterfly. There is some pain, some fear, and some sadness but you become a better version of yourself. What makes it difficult is that you don’t know if or when you will be the butterfly. You just have to have faith that it will turn all right.

Now I am a two years further and I have started my new business, Qileader. It is a real adventure with up’s and down’s but I get to travel around the world while working online and it's starting to be really successful. For all the people thinking about changing their life, I would say "increase your energy level" , listen to what emerges for you then act very rapidly on it before the fears kick in.

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